This morning I was relaxing, jubilantly reflecting upon the fact that liberation was soon coming to our fair nation. Like Dickensian-Grey (official Dulux colour) clouds louring over a sports field with an Astroturf cricket pitch, however, misery soon arrived. I saw the crushing flaw at the heart of this grand endeavour.
I am incredibly lazy.
My solution: appoint others (the proletariat, if you will) to do the hard work whilst I do the important things like write this blog, play Operational Art of War Century of Warfare, and watch the Dune miniseries on lovefilm.com.
Therefore, in the Queen's name, I announce two new appointments to the Government-in-Anonymity.
*Daniel Vine is hereby appointed civil Governor of Gloucestershire. Dan has for some years been a bastion of resistance to modernity, basing himself at Cheltenham. His immediate objectives will be to persuade the people of Cheltenham to declare their loyalty to the Queen's only loyal government (hint: that's us). He will, I imagine, pursue this aim using Twitter commentary on events within "Cheltz" (has anyone ever called it that?) and sarcy jibes at David Cameron's expense. Dan will be contributing to our official blog, with his column "A View from Gloucestershire" or whatever he ends up calling it.
*Jamie Chalmers is hereby appointed Lieutenant-General of the Cavalry. He has a car, you see (aka the Horse Guards). The Horse Guards, commanded by Lieutenant-General Chalmers, will be accompanying me on my "State of the Nation" tour, scheduled for late September. Beyond that role, Jamie's role consists in protecting the Queen and her loyal Government (ie me) from harm (there are, I am sure, various scoundrels, rotters and Papists already arrayed against us), and securing the suburban conglomeration of central Hertfordshire for the Crown. He is hereby granted the power to hold a Commission of Array to conscript a force to accomplish this task.
Congratulations to both these fine gentlemen on their appointments!
Find below the timetable for the movements of the Government-in-Anonymity in the near future:
*17th August 2011: Oxford - official inspection of Oxford University, assessment of potential support for the Government-in-Anonymity.
*18th-20th August 2011: Chester - assesment of potential support for the Government-in-Anonymity, meeting with Reformed Divines to discuss the state of the nation, and a thoroughly British celebration of matrimony (that is, jolly, not miserly and pessimistic).
*21st August 2011: Kennington - attendance as official representative of the Government-in-Anonymity at the fourth day of the Oval Test against India.
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